The night of you crying in the car with me,
Became a moment that I can never forget.


These strange feelings of seeing your sadness flow... 

Seems like things are just straying off in the wrong way nowadays.
I think I need to fix my thoughts up and steer it clear now.

If she is not for me, then I shall not let her be one who haunts me.
And I must get rid of this facade to move on.


I thought I am strong, but I am nothing but just a weakling, trying to alter fate in the hard way.

I tried to search for reasons to keep you, desperately.
But I only ended up with even more to leave you.


This trial had gotten far too painful to be one. 

Such an eventful month,
And there it comes with a nice migraine.
Excellently done.

Shit happens in piles,  never in singular.


Fatigue catching up again. Will my mind withstand these impacts, or will it again, crumble into ruins?

I am so close in making the mistake of pulling someone in.
And even for now, I am still dangerously misleading her.
I'm in luck that there is something that is restraining her, for now.
But how long will this restrain hold?

I do not know.

At least I know that, even if it's just a little bit, she felt my pain.


The right time, the wrong person, the strange settings and lastly, her tears.

Was flipping through the old pictures, and I found it:
A screenshot of her reminding me that she still can't commit to us yet, because of the distance,
And also because of closeness.

I'm pretty sure that it's a signal.
A signal that it's over.


Such irony for fate to arrange everything and lead me to an ending that I wished would never come true. And it is, indeed, an end.

I am just being delusional about being someone in her heart.
Perhaps I am just someone, but never the irreplaceable one.

It's all coming down to when will I face this craggy reality,
And that, will be the day which I will be again, enfeebled.


Entangled with you is never a mistake. It is mine, that I had failed to win you over from the bottom of your heart.

I wonder how long had it been since I started wanting to hug something to sleep.
Or should I say.... "someone"?

Every single moment from you gifted to me, I treasured it like never did.
But realizing that I am nothing but a friend who dotes on you,
It's just too much for me. Way too much.

Deep down inside, I wished for just that warmth from you,
But now, it became desperation.


Crumbling faith, eroded slowly by disappointments. Again, and again.

The perseverance had been burnt out,
I am already losing sight of the future that I once desired.
I don't know if it's too late,
But it's all up to you now.

I have no longer the faith to stay as how I once could.


No more faith in my heart, as all were cindered to ashes.

Perhaps that very day 2 years ago, had I decided to take you for myself, it will never be in such pathetic situation.
And now, I'm just plain torn.
Torn by these uncontrollable thoughts, raging through my restless mind.


I cried the same name, over and over again... only to realize, it fell on deafed ears. 

So I got a confession.
I guessed as much, but I didn't think that she'd get that close.

Now I'm torn.


Fate pulled me away when I am holding onto something, tearing what is left of me and mocking me once again for my foolishness.