Black/White

Sunday, June 29, 2008 @ 4:48 PM

Ok, an exception for this week.
I'm doing a 2nd post for this week.
Nothing much special,
Just to record another day of late night outing.
Which ressembles so much back in the past.

Happy birthday to Aileen btw.
Nothing much special bout the first half,
But after meeting up with Dex,
While Hong Yi & Kel can't make it,
I became the only person that meet up with Dex & Nat(aka Natalie, Dex's girl)

The moment I knew bout this three-person group,
I knew I'm bound to get entangled back to my thoughts.
Though I did try not to.
However,
It's seems even Dex & Nat could see my reminise.
Hard on them, I suppose.
Having someone that's on a emo mood on their anniversary,
Sorry.

When we're sitting on the stairs by the river,
I looked at Nat, playing PSP...
Suddenly, it just reminds me of Cat.
Not that they ressembles in terms of look,
But it's just...
A different couple...
A different place...
A different time...

But,
I am still myself.
Memories still stay intact.
Pain is still here,
Lying deep in here,
My heart.

It's been half a year since everything became broken.
How are you, I wonder...

Does my pain able to compensate for what I had caused to my friends, and whoever I care?

Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Saturday, June 28, 2008 @ 12:03 AM

I start to get hopeless on ERS.
Might as well get a storeman position and stay safe...
Anyway, this week seems awfully fast.
Well, I guess it's good...

Many things happened thru this week.
I wouldn't be writing down most of it...
But here's a few:
A fight that nearly broke out,
A tear that nearly fell out,
And, a person who's nearly worn out.
Let your imagination take it's place bout these incidents.

I will wait... wait for that very day when I can see your smiles once again, I will, no matter the time.

Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Friday, June 20, 2008 @ 7:01 PM

100th post...
Nothing really special tho.

But however, I found out a tragedy.
It doesn't just need trust to love one another,
But faith, is needed much too.
Like my roommate, Dexter.
He & his girlfriend is pretty much stable now,
And he's making the effort to keep it up,
She is, too.
Even tho Dex is at NS,
She bother to wait for him,
And continue to love him.

This is faith.
Believing in one another...
It's the higher level of loving your love one.
Lacking of it, it'll just end up broken.
Like what I foreseen,
Which had already became reality...
Which also made my effort go all wasted...
But the effort isn't the point.
It's, the scar that I caused to both the person I care.

I don't know will I ever be immune to this guilt,
But I do know,
I am guilty.
Guilty of causing the pain for 2 person that I care most.
And this guilt last for life.
My whole life.

My guilt had cost me 2 friends that I care, 1 person to love, and half of my heart.

Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Friday, June 13, 2008 @ 11:18 PM

Been thru 3 & half day in NS.
Still pretty well with it,
since nothing really bad going on...
Just that since my bed is just beside the windows...
Sometimes, just so hard to be not fall into thoughts.

At the very least,
I have a small goal for my NS:
To achive SERS rank (Sergeant).
If I really can..
I'll get like 1000++ pay per month for 10 days work/ mth!
It's like damn freaking cool at 100 bucks/day,
But I'd to go thru 6 months training...

Anyway, back to myself.
Nothing really happens thru the days,
Other than I accidentally found Joanne Neo's sis,
Who ALSO, write quotes of thoughts at end of each blog.
I have company. :)

Oh by the way,
I have weekend off every weeks,
So feel free to SMS me,
Cos I can bring my phone ^^

Next thing,
Cass was pretty right..
I should have find a girlfriend before NS.
Seeing all the peeps have their loves one picking them up...
Well, envious, I'ld say.
I'm one of the few rare species in my platoon that's still single...
Yeah, I mean,
Single, all along.
Most of them like: You serious ah???
But well, yeap.
My love one... I think she hating me.

Often when life reach a turning point, it's hard to accept... but itseems that we'll gradually found our own companion towards the new journey to the new life, just the matter of time, I reckon.

Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Tuesday, June 10, 2008 @ 1:07 AM

[QUOTE BEGINS]

List out your top 5 birthday presents u wish for:
#1-Freedom!!
#2-PSP
#3-Gimme someone who love me a lot :S
#4-Some small souvenirs from my primary school friend
#5-A simple peace..

1. The person who tagged u is:
- Cat aka SW

2. Your relationship with him/her is:
- friend/buddy bah~

3. Your 5 impressions of him:
- LOVE HELLO KITTY!!!
- Talk a lot (gd thing lai de :p)
- Very late sleep
- Caring (bah.. treat friend very good wor...)
- Hit people very pain (I immune :P)

4. The most memorable thing he/she has done for you:
- A small tag @ my tag board when i damn sad.

5. The most memorable words he/she has said to you:
- Very long.. is about parent de.

6. If he/she becomes your lover, you will?:
- Should be quite happy, since she treat friend so good le. :)

7. If he/she's your lover, what he/she has to improve on?:
- Nothing bah, cos i prefer who she is, other than hope she get well on her nose prob.

8. If he/she becomes your enemy, you will:
- Lol. impossible lah, cos i never treat anyone as enemy.. if really must answer, then ignore her only loh.

9. If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason is:
- Erh... betrayed me? I hate people who betray their bestie, so dun betray me... >:D

10. The most desired thing you would like to do for him now is?:
- Hope she can get results with winged colors.. :) and she always be happy, cos i see she cry before mah..

11. Your overall impression of him/her:
- A caring little girl who always very outgoing.. sunshine girl? lol dunoe what to describe that xD

12. How do you think people around you will feel about you:
- Lazy bustard >_<

13. The character you love about yourself is:
- Friends before self.

14. On the contrary, what character you hate about yourself:
- Time management sucks... same goes for financial... =.=

15. The most ideal person I would like to be:
- Someone who is myself.. cos there's nothing better than feel like urself. :)

16. For the people who cared & liked you say something to them:
- You guys rocks & love you guys forever~ lol :)

17. Pass this quiz to 10 people that u wish to know how they feel about u.
Hey, please do k? Its quite fun though its long. Thanks (:
*1: Cassidy
*2: Yong Jie
*3: Pei Yuan
*4: Cat (DO AGAIN xD)
*5: Aik (he no blog ah =.=)
*6: Zu Xian (anyhw put dun mind ah ;D)
*7: Han Ming (Poly yr 1 classmate)
*8: Joanne Neo (same..)
*9: Yi Wen (Same..)
*10:Yan Li (sec sch fren)

I very little peeps got blog lar.. :x

Who's #2 having relationship with:
- He like someone.. but that person dun like him. :P

Is #9 a female/male:
- female.

If #1 & #10 be together, will it be a good thing:
- OMFG. I dunoe wad's gonna happen.. Cass gonna kill me :(

How bout #3 and #4:
- Why not? The guy's single & girl's single, and moreover she have good impression on him, and he have good impression on her oso. :)

What's #2 studying about:
-NP Life Science.

When was the last time you chatted with #3:
-1 min ago.

What kind of music does # 8 like:
- EL pops, Chinese pops mostly. Some jap songs is not bad for her too.

Does #6 has any siblings?:
- A lot.. i rmb is a lot of siblings.

Will u woo # 3?:
- NO!!! I not gay =.=

How about #7?:
- Still, i not gay =.=

Is #4 single:
- Yeah, but someone in her mind ah... >:D

Surname of #5:
- BAY!!!

What's the hobby of #5:
- Gaming & go out with frens.. he got DoTA clan hor.. :)

#3 studying at:
- NP MMA

Have you tried developing feelings for #8?:
- She is those kinda outgoin girl.. but too bad she dun talk a lot with me too. But i din try as well.

Where does #9 live:
- Near Queen's town/Commonwealth. Take 61 from B.batok will reach de.

What colour does #4 like:
- pink, black.. dunoe liao lol. (real ans: red, white, black =.=)

Are #1 and #3 best friends?:
- good fren lah. Same course nia..

Does #7 like #2?:
- They never met..

How do you know #2:
- Sec 1~2 classmate

Does #5 have a pet?:
-nope.

Ok. Found a lot of crap peeps & put their name in.. dun come & find me for revenge.. i dunoe anythin... xD

[END OF QUOTE]

Apparently, I found this long lost test.
Reading everything again,
I almost teared.
I am controlling myself,
At this very moment.
I am.
If it was my blessing that had cause all these fissures,
If it was because of my one wrong word I caused these cracks,
I'm really... traumatized...

Fate had pulled a great prank on me... so great that I had been hurt deeply in my lone soul.

Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Monday, June 09, 2008 @ 7:32 PM

After today, it'll be new life.
I don't know what does it mean,
but probably it's good, I guess.

Maybe just a shift of my attention could do some good..
Well, leave it I guess.
Since nothing much can change the past anyway...
No, nothing can change that...
Which is why regrets came about.
Which is why I could cry just by thinking bout it.
Which is also why... I can never get over it.
Eventhough it's something I can never change,
Eventhough it's something that will be in my memory,
Eventhough it's something belongs to the past...

Many told me Ill get depression if I goes on like this,
But well...
This is probably the only way to make myself feel alive, I guess.
Anyway, I maybe goofy at times,
But like Aileen said:
I think much in depth than most people,
And probably like they told me as well...
I should stop placing others before self...
But I wouldn't.
Cos it'll not be me.

Many thanks to whoever had wanting to spend time with me,
Cos I treasure those moments.
Apparently, special thanks to Manda,
Since I made her wallet bleed so much...
And she loan me so many books. :p
What can I say?
Giddens rocks our world. Heh. xD

Another one is,
Thanks a lot,
Cass & Yong Jie,
Cos they treated me a huge K-buffet.
Really thanks.

Nevertheless, a regret will haunt me... no, I think I'm haunted by it, since that very day of separation. No matter... Te amo.

Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Saturday, June 07, 2008 @ 8:02 PM

It's just 2 more days,
To my NS.

Sense of loss...
Not because of new life or whatsoever reason...
Just feel a little lost.

Unknowingly, it'd already been 163 days since then.
No, I shouldn't say unknowingly.
I know it'd been this long,
Because I am counting the days.

To cherish is easy, but to cherish one that you really devoted to... it's hard. Really hard.

Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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SOULESS

get your codes from: 1 2 3

Sunday, June 01, 2008 @ 1:58 PM

Apparently,
I did a mad thing.
But... oh well.
No point bugging bout it anyway.

For Pei Yuan,
It's not like I offended you in anyway.
If you really care of a friend,
then ask yourself,
what had you ever done for him,
and what he did for you.
I'm not asking you or anyone to repay or whatever...
I just want you to know,
Even you had chose to forsake me for your own reason,
Even you wanted to ditch me for certain ending that you're pursuing,
Even if you want to sacrifice me for the sake of an invaluable moment,
I will still,
always,
till the day I die,
remember you... as a friend.
As a friend I truly care of.

To her,
Whether did you read it,
I don't know.
But I reckon you know who wrote it.
It's just the last thing I wanted to tell you...
Before I go into NS.
Yeah... it'd been 5 months & 3 days...
Still,
You're the apple in my eye.
Always.

Sometimes, certain things will never change... not even the flow of time & the eradication of memories could change it.

Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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