Sunday, January 07, 2007 @ 3:48 PM
I don't feel like trying to patch things up anymore... no matter how hard i tried, seems like my mum just felt that i'm just a rebel. Yea... rebel... rebel is suppose tto do things that weren't meant to be done... and i ask myself, what did i do, that made me a rebel to you...
Nevertheless... yes, i did overdid some stuffs, but, did i really do something that is really making me a rebel? Going home later than the time i told you, either did i inform you, you'll get angry. Too many projects, you say i do things at the last minutes, and don't let me to do it over night. Coming home late cos of work, you complaint. Do work, you say i don't do house work. Got home later by one or two hours, you say i'm trying to skip my house work.
Which point, exactly made me a rebel?
I don't know...
If you want to really understand, just... listen to me without doubts, please.
I'm really confused. When i work, you gave complains... so, i said, since you're tight on financial, i'll handle my own pocket money, just allow me to work. That's all...
Frankly, anything wrong, even for just asking for it?
Oh well... you said, I'll have to pay for my own laptop, breakfast lunch dinner, even school fee? Yea, i'm working like a proper job huh?
I'm really... I know that i'm busy, but... i want this kinda life. I want it, because i enjoy it. I like it when i have to rushes out a work, and i like working with my friends. I like everything here, and you tell me that I don't have to continue with my poly.
You doesn't just gave a cut, but created an open wound...
I wanna heal it, but there leaves a scar.
Anyway, i doubt you'll even see these stuffs I'd written here.
Oh well...
I don't know what to say to you, mum... but...
Leave it. You wouldn't try to get anything into your ear...
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Friday, January 05, 2007 @ 7:34 PM
3 more projects to go, 1 new proposal and 2 designs, all, undone... overstressed, and too lttle freaking time. Dreams are meant to be virtuality, not reality. Though mervyn said that if you work hard enough, you'll achieve your dream for sure... but, total crap. Come on, not everyone's dream can be achieved, even if it's reasonable. Situations and people had crafted ourselves into who we were, how we are and finaly, what we are. Not only that, but... it affects our ability or situation of realizing our dream, isn't that even correct?
You can just tell me, "Work hard for your dreams, and you'll get it,", but, try to ask yourselves, did you even realize your very first dream that you worked hard to be? No, i suppose. Then again, ask yourselves, do dreams always realizes whenever we worked hard for it? It's not always, and for some, it's a never.
Not a good words of advice, right? Perhaps you might not understand what i mean for now, but after you have a dream, you'll know. You'll just know... because, you'll go through it... and eventually, you'll know what i meant.
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SOULESS
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