Black/White

Thursday, January 25, 2007 @ 3:49 PM

Ok. Treat that i'm trying to look for excuses for my actions.... whatever... I'm just plain stupid, will that be all right? Flash kicked my ass, Dreamweaver pawned my head, Fireworks just managed to make a piece of cake out of me.... what ever i do i'm just plain sucks. Wei qi only went through half way and had just became such a loser and i wanted to quit as well. Whatever... i'm gonna be that all time loser, as always.

Yea, i just don't get the reason why you guys just keep saying that I'm just acting stupid and what so ever and saying i'm good in flash or dreamweaver or fireworks or what ever... but the truth is, what you had seen is just the most i can do, and it's my limit. Asking you guys is my last resort, but... seems like you guys just treated me as a know-everything-pro-guy huh?

What ever... Gonna fail for this year as well. Leave it. I'll just bid good bye to you guys and then maybe you'll understand what standard am i really in. Crapping with "reasons" wouldn't work. Oh well... Guess i'm that piece of useless crap...

Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Thursday, January 18, 2007 @ 10:35 AM

Life is gettting so damn hard... I wonder why. Making a decision between failure, and another failure... tell me, any difference between them? Or perhaps, just another end of me.

My mum wanted me to make a choice. To continue my life in S'pore, i must not ever work in Shang, and, get home early for most of the days. Tell me, anytime for us to get home and do our stuffs? Not at all... More over, i'd to moltivate myself to work on my stufs only in school, that's why i stayed in school to do my work as well. Great, and if i'm not doing so, i'm gonna get to say good bye to S'pore and get my ass back in M'sia. Logic? Nah... I gave up in searching for that word...

Well... things seems like had to be settled by today. Doesn't feel like going home though...

Crap... arh what ever... just go on with life and making stupid but critical choices... yeah... critical. Damn it.

Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Sunday, January 14, 2007 @ 9:36 PM

Arh crap... never finish a thing for SSS as well... sianz. Cos of the weird start. Don't know what to draw sia. Maybe i know, but realy, a little difficult, cos got faces. =_=ll Well well... just gonna see what's everyone's standard and just do a lost minute work for SSS. Stupid script writing =.=...

Anyway, gonna expect a confrontation from Joanne le.... cos today got work never go work. Next week also can't work for sunday, some more gonna get a real deal of scoldings from my aunt as well. Haiz. Don't know why can't they just understand the way we do things? It's logical, and it's correct for almost in the eye of law, but for them it's just a piece of crap. Oh crap.. gotta really find a way out myself.

End begets beginnings, and beginnings begets ends.

A new phrase i thought, in just a flash in my mind. End of a story, there begets a new beginning of another story. Yet, they are the same. GeeZ. Kinda hard to understand, right?

Lets say, everything that has a beginning has an end. That was from Neo from Matrix. End of a beginning, marks the fullstop of that beginning, but, a new beginning will be born. That's what i meant.

Perhaps the end of me for this time will make a new me of the real me.

Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Thursday, January 11, 2007 @ 9:20 AM

Darn. My pocket money reduced to 0 now. GeeZ but i think it's just cos i'm working now. Gotta get more earnings to support myself.

Anyway, 11th of January, 2007.

Sucks. Tryng to ask my way out of my wuestions in PSP, but seems like none gotta be that good guy to help me. Though some of my classmates are really good, but just asking them is always seems to be rather awkward...

Sure, you gonna tell me, ask my neighbour then. Let me tell you his answer.

"You never listen one is it?"

I am totally, completely, sadded by that phrase. It pierce me.

Yea, i may look really tough. But, who's gonna really know that... i'm merely a human, with feelings. I didn't want myself not to listen, but how can i understand a thing when i get totally nothing from those darn codings?

Yea, i appreciate them, for teaching me the reality, and the human nature; selfish, ignorance, distrustness.

Perhaps humans gonna destroy this world in the end. I'm looking forward to it, cos i knew it will happen. Not armageddon, not some kinda space invasion. It's just gonna be global warming and overexposure to UV rays, causing Erath to be a land of dead, decimating all cells and eliminating all chances to survive. Soon, it will turn the once-green Earth to the burning land, incinerating all remaining lifeforms.

It's gonna be that way. The ozone layer is dissipating. No one can save it.

Well, let's just say, it's a cycle...

Ashes to ashes... Dust to dust...

Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Sunday, January 07, 2007 @ 3:48 PM

I don't feel like trying to patch things up anymore... no matter how hard i tried, seems like my mum just felt that i'm just a rebel. Yea... rebel... rebel is suppose tto do things that weren't meant to be done... and i ask myself, what did i do, that made me a rebel to you...

Nevertheless... yes, i did overdid some stuffs, but, did i really do something that is really making me a rebel? Going home later than the time i told you, either did i inform you, you'll get angry. Too many projects, you say i do things at the last minutes, and don't let me to do it over night. Coming home late cos of work, you complaint. Do work, you say i don't do house work. Got home later by one or two hours, you say i'm trying to skip my house work.

Which point, exactly made me a rebel?

I don't know...

If you want to really understand, just... listen to me without doubts, please.

I'm really confused. When i work, you gave complains... so, i said, since you're tight on financial, i'll handle my own pocket money, just allow me to work. That's all...

Frankly, anything wrong, even for just asking for it?

Oh well... you said, I'll have to pay for my own laptop, breakfast lunch dinner, even school fee? Yea, i'm working like a proper job huh?

I'm really... I know that i'm busy, but... i want this kinda life. I want it, because i enjoy it. I like it when i have to rushes out a work, and i like working with my friends. I like everything here, and you tell me that I don't have to continue with my poly.

You doesn't just gave a cut, but created an open wound...

I wanna heal it, but there leaves a scar.

Anyway, i doubt you'll even see these stuffs I'd written here.

Oh well...

I don't know what to say to you, mum... but...

Leave it. You wouldn't try to get anything into your ear...

Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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SOULESS

get your codes from: 1 2 3

Friday, January 05, 2007 @ 7:34 PM

3 more projects to go, 1 new proposal and 2 designs, all, undone... overstressed, and too lttle freaking time. Dreams are meant to be virtuality, not reality. Though mervyn said that if you work hard enough, you'll achieve your dream for sure... but, total crap. Come on, not everyone's dream can be achieved, even if it's reasonable. Situations and people had crafted ourselves into who we were, how we are and finaly, what we are. Not only that, but... it affects our ability or situation of realizing our dream, isn't that even correct?

You can just tell me, "Work hard for your dreams, and you'll get it,", but, try to ask yourselves, did you even realize your very first dream that you worked hard to be? No, i suppose. Then again, ask yourselves, do dreams always realizes whenever we worked hard for it? It's not always, and for some, it's a never.

Not a good words of advice, right? Perhaps you might not understand what i mean for now, but after you have a dream, you'll know. You'll just know... because, you'll go through it... and eventually, you'll know what i meant.

Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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