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Friday, August 05, 2011 @ 9:57 AM
Time had passed on, Yet here I am, Still here. I know I'm a disappointment. I just... Don't have a resolve. Something I can't give up... At least, I don't have it now. I have no shadow, for I am one who shrouded with darkness, one who cannot see that hope of light that I had been waiting for. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Monday, July 11, 2011 @ 3:41 PM
So long since then... Reminisces only bring regrets. For I, should just hold no more. Pain no more. Sad no more. And speak no more. It just doesn't matter anymore. I thought I held on well, and I didn't. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Sunday, November 28, 2010 @ 12:44 AM
Seems like she's in her own world now. Well, guess that's good. Glad that one more found her happiness. Just hope that it doesn't shatter again. For me? I'm just past 22 years old by 3 days. Doesn't really bother me. I'm just too passive. Pathetically at times, oblivion seems to be the best cure. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Wednesday, November 10, 2010 @ 12:02 AM
Seems like I gotta choose a course soon. No, not literally. I meant a course in life. Been quite long since I last posted something too. Can't say I have nothing to update... But well, I guess it's just ain't routine anymore. Illusions... I hope they aren't though. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Thursday, October 14, 2010 @ 7:12 PM
I snapped. I trust people too easily, Perhaps it's the amount that he deserved though... But he doubted me. I'm sorry. I'm not apologizing for the fault. I just felt sorry bout this stupid situation, This stupid circumstance. I don't know if this time will it be a crisis, but I cannot allow anyone to betray my trust... Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Tuesday, October 05, 2010 @ 4:53 AM
I was really surprised, That someone worried me that much. Was kinda happy though. Anyway, Hasn't been doing much this time round. Perhaps like what I said most of the time: Maybe it's never meant to be so. Ah well, Easy for me. Though all I can do now is just... Wait? I don't know. Maybe I'll do just that. I'm a little tired of waiting... but, what can I do with my passiveness? Answer's, nothing. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Saturday, September 25, 2010 @ 11:03 PM
Since last post, It has been 1 month. At lot of things happened around me, but for myself, Nothing yet had changed anything. Anyway, Just a post to rant how sick am I. Cos I'm down with headache, fever and body ache... All at the same time, FFS. Now I seriously hoped that I have someone to rely on. Even dinner ended up as KOKA noodles. Ughh. Luckily it ain't taste half bad. Maybe, just maybe, I'll be a little more courageous now. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Sunday, August 22, 2010 @ 12:23 AM
Natsu Matsuri is over. Well, the progress that Mr. Tan and Mr. Wong expect... Isn't that significant. I decided a lot of things, But there's one thing that they forgot to think bout: What if, there is another person that had been waiting? Then wouldn't I be wrecking it? I don't know. But today, I will not make any decision yet. Perhaps a seed for the future, But I will see how this seed will grow into... If it blooms, I'll accept it by all means. If it withers, Then it's fate. When it involves breaking a dream of someone else, I hesitated. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Friday, August 13, 2010 @ 4:54 AM
How insignificant.... Desire somehow always make difficult choices. Not just to me, But there's countless victim fallen to it. Choices are made by human, Yet we cannot control the wheel of destiny... Yet we cannot endure its searing consequences... And yet, we persist. Fearless one are the survivor of nightmares, result of persistence: they do not exist, because no one can overcome all darkness, no one can fill the universe with complete light. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Monday, August 02, 2010 @ 3:18 AM
Seems like my update interval is getting bigger. But to hell with that, Nothing much interest me anyway. A question popped in my mind: How do I find the right person? Literally, Soul-mate. I might be a little dumb on this, But saying things like I don't like getting attached... I'm definitely lying to myself. Yeah, I guess I just don't know how. Perhaps it's my course of life. Sometimes I wonder though, How many people actually read these... Well, I'd say, Nonsensical thoughts? Despite describing it this way... I believe everyone have the same kind of thoughts. Or at the very least, They had. If I die now, I probably would regret for another million years in after life. I had felt such literal isolation for countless times... yet one who I desired to be my side was never there... if this is destiny, then screw the one who spun the wheel of destiny for me. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Wednesday, July 14, 2010 @ 10:28 PM
Long since my last post, Been getting bit lazy though. Has been working in Shang, again. Kinda lack bit motivation though. But oh well, Gotta save up for both trips: November WLS, And December KL Trip. Oh yes, Also a new mac, Or maybe desktop. Anyway, Nothing much had been happening... Or at least, Nothing much that is really worth writing into here. Perhaps I value things differently... Or perhaps I'm just an outcast. After all, nothing must be revealed, and nothing must be told, as it will only bring forth chaos and unrest... Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Friday, June 25, 2010 @ 6:01 PM
Recently hasn't been doing anything. Maybe this is how a freeloader like, lol. Shang's not giving me any work though... Kinda disappointed... So I'll be switching job soon I guess. Sorry, but I don't have time, Neither youth to waste. 10 years plan will take effect from next year onwards. So this will be my last half a year to enjoy. Well, Good luck to myself I guess. After all these time, fate is pushing me to the limit. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Monday, June 14, 2010 @ 2:26 AM
So many things to worry about, And yet some fucker decided to screw me up more. Anyway, whatever. Someone reminded me of my dream. Yeah, it'd been hell long, But I never once forgot it. A shop with my own kinda randomness. 10 years... It's not long. I'll make it become a reality. I know, It's not a big dream, But it's my dream. As time flies, dreams fade away... but for I, will hold mine so tightly that it'll be with me till it become reality. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Wednesday, June 02, 2010 @ 9:58 AM
Early morning update. Why? I wanna rant. It's not like we have no such event before right? And how did you managed to get "not enough manpower"? Like we'll be even doing anything if we're there. Wasting another day, Doing nothing but wastage. Tsk tsk. Alright, ranting done. Anyway, Recently found that GJW (Gong Jiao Wei, or Crapping), Is really fun with a certain correct person. Made me wonder: Does my future wife have to enjoy crapping with me too? I would say, I really like to have someone like that. Because one who could enjoy such pure joy... Perhaps is the one that I am looking for after all. "See, we made it: we grew old together," is something that I wanna say, after 48 years. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Saturday, May 29, 2010 @ 9:31 PM
Really pissed. Why the hell my MSN got hacked? Jeez, Plain unlucky I guess. Somehow, I don't really understand people's reply tho. Created an event to re-add my MSN, But well, There's people who are "Not attending"? Not that I meant anything, But it really kinda confused me a little. But oh well. It's their choice, So I can't help it. Why is that when I'm serious, people take me like a joke? Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Wednesday, May 19, 2010 @ 7:57 PM
Marked the end of last day in camp. Next would be ORD... But... Somehow, When I left my office, Everything seems to be... Nostalgic. Perhaps I must had been crazy, Feeling like this when it's near to ORD. But... I guess I just don't like changes. After all these years... Moving from Malaysia to Singapore... Changing from secondary to tertiary... Leaving tertiary and enter NS... I really, really dislike it. I guess that is life. Fading past, approaching future... another change, another place... Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Sunday, May 16, 2010 @ 8:13 PM
For fuck sake, You said I'm calculative. Calculative? My fucking ass. I wish to speak no more. Say what you want, And I can't be bothered anymore. For so long, I'd never been so fed up. I had enough, really. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Monday, May 10, 2010 @ 5:32 PM
Gentle eh? Perhaps it is one of the reason. But ultimately, Fate plays the biggest part. "愛してる." I really wanted to tell someone that. But too bad, It never happen. Or rather, Never correctly. I did all I can, because I just want you to be happy. I kept quiet, because that will bring only misery. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Monday, May 03, 2010 @ 4:01 AM
さいごの果実 探してばかりの僕たちは 鏡のようによく似てるから 向き合うだけで繋がるのに 触れ合うことはできないまま 目を凝らした 手を伸ばした 化石みたいに眠っている 開かれるのを待ち続ける 雨が降って 時は満ちて ねぇ僕は、僕は知りたい 愛するってどんなこと? 君が微笑むと 世界は少し震えて輝いた まるで呼吸するように 動き出した 誰も守れない僕たちは 寝静まる街を駆け出した 水になって 風になって 手に入れるために 争い奪い合えば 空しくて 僕が叫んでも 世界は何も言わずに背を向けた まるで僕を試すように突き放した 一瞬を 永遠を 始まりを 最果てを ねぇ僕は、僕は知りたい 生きてくってどんなこと? 僕が尋ねると 世界は少し震えて輝いた 僕に眠る真実を いま静かに解き放つ 何所え愛の永遠？ Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Thursday, April 29, 2010 @ 4:39 AM
Such irony. Messages that were meant to remain silence, Appeared to be another omen. Perhaps I'd said too much, But anyway, I guess its really up to one who thinks. I don't control what they think, It's all up to them. But again, The truth might never be reveal... Perhaps till the day I cease to exist... Silence is just another kind of sorrow... unspeakable sorrow. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Wednesday, April 21, 2010 @ 7:46 AM
Feel like crap. Having headache & sore throat, Like since day before... And it ain't getting better. I hate to be sick, cos it felt like how the heart was during then, other than it's at some other part of the body. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Friday, April 16, 2010 @ 8:38 AM
As expected, Its becoming hard to overlook it. Is it time? I don't know. But I'm sure that I'll still resist. Perhaps I'm merely self-contradicting. Yeah.. perhaps. If only time was the critical factor since then... I'd never have become who I had to be now. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Sunday, April 04, 2010 @ 1:52 AM
Why's this blog called "Souless", Someone asked. Simple, Everyday of my life, I'm empty. Not practically, But I'm just empty. What use for one who have nothing within self? Perhaps, Nothing matters. Or just, nothing should have been. Delusive expression... how real, that it's just how I had been. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Saturday, March 27, 2010 @ 5:55 PM
Ranting, Though I hoped that I don't have to post things like this. If you wanna tell me bout that, Fucking tell me face to face, Not by last min telling me this shit. Pushing me off that way? Fuck you. Now I'd see your true colors, Don't think I'll ever trust your words again. If you didn't calculate yourself, Don't blame it on someone's incompetency. It's YOU, Who did not want to listen everything. Get the fuck off. I'm glad that I can leave this place earlier than you. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Friday, March 26, 2010 @ 9:27 AM
Perfect love doesn't exist. Even mutual love can receive no blessing. Perhaps after all, Humanity were born off selfishness. Selflessness is probably for either: Nobility seekers, Or just plain dumb asses. Whatever. I like being a dumb ass. 雨が降る，涙の心 Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Thursday, March 25, 2010 @ 8:07 AM
For all who interested in the quiz: http://quiz.ivillage.co.uk/uk_work/tests/career.htm Food for thought... indeed. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Saturday, March 13, 2010 @ 3:57 AM
Alright. Revising on what's on the career test: You like working and being alone. You like to avoid attention at all costs. You tend to keep to yourself, and not interact much with the people around you. You enjoy spending time with a few a close friends. You like to listen to others, but don't like sharing much about yourself. You are very quiet and private. Well... exactly. I like working alone... Avoid attention... Keep lotsa stuffs to myself... Not much interactions with people around me... Ha, more than 85% correct. -------- You are very practical, and only act after thinking things through. You don't like being forced to answer quickly. You have to evaluate the situation completely. You make decisions based on what you can verify with your senses. Practicality... Yeah, very true. Again, more than 85% true. O.o -------- You like to be deeply involved in one or two special projects. You like to be behind the scenes. You are very logical and fair. You feel you should be honest with others and protect their feelings. Ha, that was an answer from the test (First Phrase). Anyway... The rest are quite true, Hit around 75% this time. ---------- You trust your gut instincts. You are easily inspired and trust that inspiration. You are very innovative. You analyse things by looking at the big picture. You are concerned about how what you do affects others. You worry about your actions and the future. You tend to use a lot of metaphors and are very descriptive and colourful in your choice of language. Hmm, probably how others look at me I guess. But I reckon more or less it's like that. :) I think around 80% hit. --------- You are very creative, and get bored easily if you don't get to express yourself. You like to learn new things. You don't like the same old routine. You like to leave your options open. Bull-eyes!! Totally hit the mark. Repetitive routine bores me out. :D -------- Overall: Above 80% correct. Ha, The most accurate of the test I'd taken so far. Might be even better than some of those personality test. :D If only understanding of myself could have been this easy, perhaps many things could had been avoided. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Tuesday, March 09, 2010 @ 9:31 AM
Very interesting. Took some career test at a website, and this is the exact result: -------------------------------- You would be very happy in a career that utilised your level-headedness, and allowed you to work mainly on your own. You want a career that allows you to be creative, without having to be involved with lots of people. Some careers that would be perfect for you are:
You are very practical, and only act after thinking things through. You don't like being forced to answer quickly. You have to evaluate the situation completely. You make decisions based on what you can verify with your senses. You like to be deeply involved in one or two special projects. You like to be behind the scenes. You are very logical and fair. You feel you should be honest with others and protect their feelings. You trust your gut instincts. You are easily inspired and trust that inspiration. You are very innovative. You analyse things by looking at the big picture. You are concerned about how what you do affects others. You worry about your actions and the future. You tend to use a lot of metaphors and are very descriptive and colourful in your choice of language. ----------------------- I didn't know I can be having so similar result with a Pisces. But oh well. Maybe its not a bad thing after all. P.S. Oh my god lol. My star sign PDF just said something like: Pisces love sign is Sagittarius. Coincidence are such amusing creation of the world we live in. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Wednesday, March 03, 2010 @ 11:15 PM
Guilty for a mistake that I can't avoid. And I must not make amend, Cos that will only deepens the scar... I have to move on, To leave her behind, So that her gaze will no longer be with me, So that she learn to smile without me, Or at least, To move on without me. No, you're not a burden. I am the burden. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Tuesday, February 23, 2010 @ 1:12 AM
Taste the gambler's downturn. Totally "omgwtf". I think I'm not gambling for quite some time lol. Maybe not at least for the next few months. Anyway, treat it as a lesson. To be honest, you might wanna guess the amount. But... I ain't telling it here :p Cos it's huge lol. Fuck, gambling is REALLY 1 win 9 lose! Maybe at least 3 win 7 lose I guess, but NO MORE GAMBLING. Burnt my finger sia. *OUCH* Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Thursday, February 18, 2010 @ 2:47 AM
In the end. Simplicity is all that matters. Complications result in mere annoyance. Nothing more. Really, nothing. Emptiness filling up the atmosphere... so, is it empty? Literally, yes, and no. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Monday, February 08, 2010 @ 4:53 AM
Somehow, After knowing certain incident... I felt desolated. Is it that I am never worthy of even a mere existence? Is it that I am never once included in the word "we"? Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Thursday, February 04, 2010 @ 11:51 PM
Ok ok fine, updating already lol. Cos I'm not dead yet, So here's update before the 2 month's up. Been kinda busy at work. And yeah, Finally met "someone's dad", And totally he's humorous. In fact, He makes a better local comedian than a dad. :D Woops, Someone definitely wanna whack me for that. :DD Anyway, Asked bout the career at MINDEF. Navy ain't such a bad choice, Only problem is that, I needa get electronics related engineering diploma for qualification. Doesn't really like that kinda stuff, but anyway, I'll see how it goes. After all, job isn't a thing that anyone like. Cos, it's just a job. Lastly, Valentine again. And, Chinese new year on the very same day. My cousins gonna bring home loads of their girl I guess. I'll probably be a target board for those lame question again =.= Flowing far far away... it seems that it might eventually became an "inevitable", but still, do I resist? No more of hope? No more of care? Sorry, I cannot do that. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Monday, December 21, 2009 @ 1:20 PM
Changed a skin... Basically I'm lazy of custom skins. Somehow it never seems to work well. Anyway, Pretty long since my last update. Yet, nothing much changed. Yes, nothing much... Other than perhaps, A growing desire to be loved? Hah, Sounds stupid to actually come out from someone like me. But I guess I can't help it. After all, I'm just an idiot. Song of infinity... how it suits me now. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Monday, November 16, 2009 @ 1:10 AM
Silence is getting worse. My silence. Perhaps I'm meant to be alone. Birthday's coming... And yet, I don't feel a single thing bout it. This isn't normal, Is it? Silence that came within the heart... it's wordless. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Tuesday, November 03, 2009 @ 12:36 AM
Thinking it over again: It's not that I was not given a chance, It's me myself, Who refuse to give any chance. But who could I love, Is all decided by myself. I can't change it, Cos it will no longer be my love. To be honest, I felt like a bastard. After one fucking year, I can't even take that into consideration. I'm a goddamn bastard, Really. But it's my bastardness that given someone else a chance. Perhaps it's good for me after all. Who I cannot love, Shall be loved by one who is worthy of, Not one who love her not, And hurt her more... I am not worthy. When you truly love someone, it no longer matters whether will you be with her eventually. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Sunday, November 01, 2009 @ 12:43 AM
Went for Cass' birthday celebration. Nothing much, Just like regular meet ups. Found that Cass really changed a lil. In a good way though... Oh well, Perhaps it's the effect of NS. Anyway, They're really bothering me with YJ's "curse" Lol indeed. According to his "curse", The line up for each of us to get into a relationship is: Aik Siang, Me, Cass, Himself. Now I sorta halt the line up completely lol. Sigh, Easier than said. I'm totally the kind that has no initiative... Good luck to myself then. After such long time... my sealed-self is coming back again. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Friday, October 23, 2009 @ 12:51 AM
Bob passed away. Just days before, he was giving such laughter... Now, he's gone. Life and death could truly just be one line across each other... Too much responsibilities to left behind, Too much sadness, Too much pain. Rest in peace, Bob. Sadness surrounding me shaken me so much, that I felt helpless with my tearless eye. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Tuesday, October 13, 2009 @ 9:01 PM
So many things happen. And finally I made the correct choice. It was dangerous for me tho... If I made the wrong words.... Perhaps it could be a big mistake. Anyway, I'm turning into Admin post lol. Pretty much it's the aftereffect of the audit. Anyway, yeah, it's a good thing. At least I don't have anymore stand by. Complications simplified... and became complicated again. To be honest.... did it even simplifies in the first place? Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Monday, September 21, 2009 @ 9:19 PM
Fear of repetition had came true. I am trying to defy my heart, And I'm failing to do so. Will I eventually fall again? Not like that, I told myself... even though it is happening... This is, perhaps, how I am lying to myself. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Friday, September 18, 2009 @ 12:46 AM
No particular reason for this post. Just got the urge. It's just another 9 months... Long 15 months it had been. It's just another 9 months to the end of this. But... I don't really know why, I'm guessing that everyone doesn't like changes in the first place. After getting accommodated to our life... And certain things had to be changed... And yeah, The first forum that I ever stay onto, It might be closing down on a high odds. Too bad, I guess. Met really lots and lots of people there... Anyway, it's SGCafe if you guys don't know what forum is that. Perhaps I'd changed... maturity? I'm not there yet. Wisdom? I'm nowhere near that as well... Lets just say, it's the result of a tough lesson of life. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Monday, September 14, 2009 @ 8:09 PM
It's almost like every 2 weeks update now... Not that I have boring life, But rather, most of the time is fucked up, So I rather not mention most of the details. Better off forgetting them than remembering unpleasant stuff, right? Anyway, Development of my business seems to reach a short bottle neck again. Stupid Civil Defense Day parade. One god damn event after another, I felt more like entertainer or coolies now. And much more, Not to mention the amount of discrimination, I'd say I'd enough of where I am now... But too bad, this damn service last for another 9 months. Well... At least it's just another 9 months. In one place where you can never be yourself... if it's not for the dream, and love who I am still seeking, I'd rather die. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Saturday, August 22, 2009 @ 5:20 AM
I don't really know why, But I just felt like blogging this time. Watched "Clannad", along with the special episode. Felt sad, glad, complicated, as well... Felt that I should cherish more. I don't really know why though, But somehow, Clannad had moved me quite a lot. Perhaps from how it reflected from daily life... I'm not sure, But I know, I can't waste anymore time. At least, I will be clear of my path. And oh yeah, Looks like Kyou Fujibayashi (one of the character) is the kinda girl I'll like. Too bad it's just anime character... Hope someone like her exist... Well, I hope so... Is it finally time to change? No, it's not suppose to be a question anymore. It must be so. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Monday, August 03, 2009 @ 10:05 PM
Long, long time since my last post. Don't know what to say much... But well, life just turn no where that I can call as "better". Anyway, Peiyuan got attached again. Not surprising with who is she. Just that, don't feel like going out along with them anymore. Perhaps I had more than enough to that kinda feeling. The feeling of desolation. I don't know when, But I started calling myself as "Desolator". Not that I desolate stuffs, or people, But no matter what I do, I bound to be desolated eventually. But, who cares? --------------------------------- The fear of desolation, it's within me... devouring my senses... Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Wednesday, June 17, 2009 @ 12:38 AM
Sorry for the lack of updates. Partially it's cos of how fuck-up is it, I don't even feel like saying bout it. Lets just forget all bout the shit here. These short time, Lots of things happen, Yet many things changed as well... I know, cos I did saw the change. Many hasn't been able to see it, It's all just because everyone else was in it, The gradual change isn't even noticeable... Till someone from the outer side see it... I don't know. I'm starting to hate things so much, That now I can't even preserve my way of doing things, My way of "harmony with whoever I met", So now, What's gonna happen? If this is going to change me completely, Perhaps I will no longer be myself. Demise of darkness isn't originate from ourselves... it had been dragged out of where it belongs by people we hate. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Saturday, May 30, 2009 @ 8:33 AM
I'm pissed. Real pissed off now. Cos of my fucking brainless PC, I became enemy of my platoon. Fuck you, seriously. Fuck you for capable of giving CONSTRUCTIVE IDEA. Fuck you for being a shitty scared cat. And just fuck off from my platoon already. Such selfish intent, Why not be a fucking fish monger? Sell all the damn fish ya wanna sell. So what if I don't wanna contribute a day of annual leave? It's MY FUCKING LEAVE, AND DON'T BOTHER TO EVEN ASK ABOUT IT. Vanity has indeed became a common term for everyone. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Tuesday, May 12, 2009 @ 1:28 AM
回头看了看， 尽是一切不堪的记忆。 最好的那一部分， 竟然是今年头才真正开始。。。 望着那蒙胧的月光。。。 总觉得寂静还是比较适合我。 或许有人觉得我搞忧郁， 但又何必在乎他人之言呢？ 我就是我， 无可取代的我。 曾几何时，宁静与孤寂又成为我的一部分了？ Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Wednesday, May 06, 2009 @ 12:26 AM
Sometimes, I should really start to stop worrying. Especially for others. And much more, I worry too much... Probably due to my pessimistic nature, I guess. If this is just for myself, I guess it's still fine... But now, It's others that I think I'm worrying too much. Somehow, I can't put self before others at all. "To love someone, learn to love yourself first." YJ told me this, Yet, hard to the extreme for me. Perhaps loving someone is just not for me. At least, not now. Loving someone isn't an option. For some reason, you wouldn't really choose who you will love... cos your heart had already made that decision for you. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Friday, May 01, 2009 @ 2:36 AM
Think about it... It'd really been long. Even my sis went into a poly... Huh, it's a near 7 years I'd been in Singapore. Many, many things happened... Too many that I refuse to speak one by one. And as well, Somehow, I feel old now. Must be getting on to it now. Well, gonna change myself soon. After all, can't have my crazy style with me all along. Perhaps it'll be an end to it... Well, it can't be help, I guess. Finally, it is time for me to abandon all that is over & go on to my next phase of life... Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Monday, April 20, 2009 @ 9:16 PM
Went Gothy, Azuku & Fadz's birthday celeb. As I remember, 3 more of Gothy's team member is there too. Though I only remember Yuuki, Since she is like the only person that told me loud enough. :X YJ's team have high attendance. Azuku, Gothy & Fadz set aside, Shiro Kuro, along with John Valentine (XD) Eriol, me, and YJ himself. Anyway, had quite some fun there. Though YJ was a little being abused... But well, I guess through out the whole thing, It turn out quite fine. We went home at around 11 plus. On the train ride, It was surprising for Kuro to reveal something big. She said about A???'s strange act. As if he's a HJJ... Well, pretty much a disappointment. Although it isn't a 100% sure yet, But a doubt from Kuro... It's hard to say no. Anyway, YJ and I decided that we'll raise our cautiousness. Just in case it is true though. ------------------------------ Is it just appearance could make one doubt you? Even after you work so hard for them? I don't know. Sometimes, people are blind towards someone. No matter what I do, There is always someone who doubt me. Perhaps I have enough. I shouldn't care anymore... Just a mere remarks, yet I took it so seriously... Is it even a little remark to me? No, it's more. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Friday, April 17, 2009 @ 10:04 AM
Some fuck up stuff happened in camp. But oh well, Not gonna bring it up here. To be short, I just became a scapegoat. Anyway, I don't know how people think of me. But I do know, I care of what others think of me, a lot. I'd always tell other peeps, Just be yourself, It's not like you live for others' sake. Yet me myself? I'm a failure when it comes to making it work. I'd giving advices, and sometimes good one, Yet me myself, I'm a screwed up by myself. Weird, but yeah, I'm one illogical life-example. I'd always denying myself, But yet, Someone's remark always pulled me back... I wonder the day when I'm finally out... What's gonna happen? Vindicating hope that shone upon my darkest hour... I shall live my life in my own shadow. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Sunday, April 12, 2009 @ 9:23 AM
Went Aik's house again. This time, it's for mahjong session. Wai Chien is here too... Kinda long since I last saw him. Still nothing changed though. :) Anyway, Cat's here too. While Cass & Aik still around, Getting along is still fine. But when we're going home together, W/o Cass & Aik, It's a little quiet. But well, I don't really thought of that much now. After all, she is suppose to be a past, Not a present, Nor a future. P.S. Kuro... why you say that to me? Did something happen? A lone journey is indeed lonely, yet one would see more from their inner soul... just because our heart is not closed when we're alone, we could understand more when we're alone. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Saturday, April 11, 2009 @ 5:24 AM
Back from Shiro Kuro's PS. Nothing much to say bout that, But anyway, nice works though. That's for the photographers, And my 2 bosses who seems to enjoy it a lot. XD Oh yeah, and these 2 brats, Took my first hug away. :X I wasn't kinda expecting that, So I kinda stoned. o.o But well, it's a nice day after all. Fun & stuff, Pretty much enjoy it a lot. :) Back on myself. Went Aik's house after checking out the movies. Stay till like, 4am plus. As usual, Walk my way home. But well, like always. I gaze at the night sky that shrouded by darkness... Far, like it'd always been. Yet it's as if it's reachable. Same goes. Sometimes, it could be so dreamy. Like it can never exist. Is it fate that playing upon us? Or was it just a word of forgotten? I never wanted to know. Hope is at times, hopeless. Facing the words, I guess. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Thursday, April 09, 2009 @ 11:42 PM
Posted as requested from Tako. TEN ARE YOUS 1. Are you single - Yeah. 2. Are you happy - Not now. 3. Are you bored - Not now as well. 4. Are you fair - Not fair, lightly darken skin. 5. Are you Italian - My name is, I'm not. 6. Are you intelligent - Quite, I reckon. 7. Are you honest - Honesty yes, but not direct. 8. Are you nice - Yeah, I guess. 9. Are you Irish - No. 10. Are you Asian - Yeah. TEN FACTS 1.Full Name - Lorenzo Thong Zheng Feng 2. Nicknames - Fiera, Zoo. 3. Birth place - Malaysia, Negri Sembilan, Jelebu. 4. Hair color - Black 5. Natural hair style - Yeah. 6. Eye Color - Dark brown 7. Birthday - 25/11/1988 9. Favorite color - Black 10. One place you'd like to visit - Japan TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE 1. Have you ever been in love – Never. 2. Do you believe in love at first sight – Not entirely. 3. Do you currently have a crush? No. 4. Have you ever been hurt emotionally – Yes. 5. Have you ever broken someone’s heart – No. 6. Have you ever had your heart broken – Not to this extent. 7. Have you ever liked someone but never told them – Once. This linked to Q4. 8. Are you afraid of commitment – Yes, for being incapable of giving it. 9. Who was the last person you hugged – No one. 10. Who was the last person you said I love you to - No one. TEN THIS OR THAT 1. Love or lust - Love. 2. Hard liquor or beer - Neither? 3. Cats or dogs - Cats. 4. A few best friends or any regular friends - Few best friends. 5. Creamy or Crunchy – Creamy. 6. Pencil or Pen – Pencil. 7. Wild night out or romantic night in - Romantic night in. 8. Money or Happiness – Happiness. 9. Night or day – Night. 10. i phone or Sony Erisson – Sony Erisson. TEN HAVE YOU EVER 1. Been caught sneaking out – Yeah. 2. Seen a polar bear - Yeah. 3. Done something you regret – Yeah. 4. Bungee jumped – No. 5. Eaten food that fell on the floor – No. 6. Finished an entire jaw breaker – Huh? What's that...? 7. Been caught naked – No. 8. Wanted an ex bf/gf back – Never had one. 9. Cried because you lost a pet – Never had one. 10. Wanted to disappear – Yeah. TEN PREFERENCES IN A PARTNER 1. Smile or eyes - Eyes. 2. Light or dark hair – Dark. 3. Hugs or kisses – Kisses. 4. Shorter or taller – Shorter, or similar. 5. Intelligence or attraction – Whichever. 6. Topman or Zara – Huh?? 7. Funny or serious - Whichever. 8. Older or Younger – No pref. 9. Outgoing or quiet – Both. 10. Sweet or Bad – Sweet. TEN HAVE YOUS 1. Ever performed in front of a large crowd – Yeah, orientation goofy dance. 2. Ever talked on the phone for longer than an hour – Yeah. 3. Ever tried walking on your hands – I phail. 4. Ever been to a rock concert – Nope. 5. Ever been on a cheerleading team – Never. 6. Ever been on a dance team - Yeah, if that goofy dance counted. 7. Ever been on a sports team – Nope. 8. Ever been in a drama play/production – Nope. 9. Ever owned a BMW, Mercedes Benz, Escalade, Hummer or Bentley?- Nope. 10. Ever been in a rap video?- Nope. TEN LASTS 1. Last phone call you made – Manda. 2. Last person you hugged – No one. 3. Last person you hung out with – Manda. 4. Last time you worked – 7 hours ago. 5. Last person you talked to – My mum. 6. Last person you IM’d – Yong Jie. 7. Last person you texted – Shiro.约束 8. Last person(s) you went to the movies with – Can't remember. 9. Last person/thing you missed – Reminisce. 10. Last website visited – Sgcafe.com I pick 6 peeps randomly from my link list. 1- Manda 2- Yuchi 3- Hina 4- Carmen 5- Eileen 6- Ika-chan Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Sunday, March 29, 2009 @ 7:04 PM
Went Kuro Bara yesterday. And assuming I'll be seeing lots of peeps.. And yeah, I saw HELL LOTS. At least 20 over people I know. Lol. And yeah, saw Ika, Haru & Yusifer. Joey hair is screwed! LOL~ Ika-chan's hair also dyed, But it look so different on her blog lo. I wonder is that the quality of camera or what... Anyway, was pretty impressed bout Yuchi. Despite her blisters on her toes, Still can get on 3 dances continuously. Claps for ya~! Met minichaos, my team leader, Eriol, photographer & might be my future shifu... Xuri, some really cool looking girl with piercings, RinYa, one with really bright eyes, Shiro & Kuro, the hyper pairs. YJ really have a great team I reckon. Together with so many jokers xD. A little complication sometimes do add a little different memories to be engraved on my heart. It's good, I guess... Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Saturday, March 28, 2009 @ 10:51 AM
White house exploration failed! Cos of multiple sensor and stuffs. But anyway, It's more like exploration trip at Punggol. ._. Anyway, The sky was clear, And I can see stars right above us. It's not just one or two, But countless. Really... had it been that long? I didn't gaze into the stars like this since when? I don't remember... But still, I could feel soothed just by gazing it... It's amusing. Oh well. I think I'd love to explore a spot for clear sky. Then just sit there over the night, Watching the sky turn from darkness to light... Perhaps I'm weird, But I just like it... Sometimes, I could really feel that I am withering, slowly, to my end... But still what is life when there is no hope? Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Saturday, March 21, 2009 @ 9:27 PM
Someone actually liked my way of dealing with emotions. I don't know bout that... But well, it's instinctive. I just wanted to do it that way. Apparently, I found myself in greater interest in r/s, But also greater denial in it too. Ironic, isn't it? Maybe it's better after all... Not having no one telling me they like me or something, It's probably better this way. At least, I do not have to hesitate of my thoughts. Vivid sub-conscious is echoing... perhaps following it is what is called as self-conscience. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Monday, March 16, 2009 @ 3:04 AM
No more checkpoint duty anymore. That means a bad thing, probably. Lesser off days to be earn, And more days at camp. Probably gonna bored like crap. But oh well, Psycho some peeps to start playing Monster Hunter 2G as well. So got tonnes of things to do in there. :) And yeah, went for MH2G hunting too. HR 8 now~ And got owned by Volganos. What the hell!!! Anyway, was suppose to hunt till evening, But ended up going for Alucard's birthday celeb. @_@ Oh well. One thing was surprising though: I met Yuchi at this super dramatic encounter. And YUCHI I HEARD U SCREAM OUT LOUD~ XD Anyway, back on myself. Somehow I became less sadist nowadays. Probably cos of the people I know from Sgcafe or so. But anyway, I started to value lots of things. Not things that cost real monetary values, Cos those are merely materialistic stuffs. What I meant was the value of those that is worthy. Not now, but in the future. Which in other words, it's people who I really care. Cass, who utterly changed myself completely. Aik, buddy since sec 1. YJ, a great friend for 7 whole years. Manda, a friend who share and care works in non-BGR form. Yan Li, a little over-heated yet under-confident god sis. PY, who made me realize something really important. Catherine, who instill my first scar. These are people who made a difference in my life, And I learned to treasure them, Even though I might not get the same treatment, So long as they remain as this place within my heart, They will be treasured, no matter what. Lights has been dimmed, and darkness shroud once again... but I'm no longer afraid. Because I know somewhere out there, the light is still brightening my vision up, giving me hope & happiness. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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Wednesday, March 11, 2009 @ 2:51 AM
Problems, always. Seems like r/s really take time out, And by a really huge amount. Told Aik bout the stuffs recently, And yeah, he asked me bout Ika-chan. Well... What can I say? I know Ika-chan is good. I mean, perhaps she's a little blur, And a little shy too... But well, she's a nice girl, And I don't wanna start anything that I have no confidence in... It doesn't matter when it hurts me if it fails, But I don't want anyone else to get hurt because of this. NS had taken too much of my time. If Ika-chan is with me, She would have little time with me. And even for me myself, I would feel bad for it, So I rather remain passive. Even though loneliness do strike, I can only endure it. Sadist has always been with me, So loneliness is just usual. Although sometimes I really felt like taking a step into r/s, I forced a stop on it, Cos I know I am not ready for it. Sorrow of the past, loneliness of the present, and pain in the heart. All these are no longer so intolerable. Not because it subside, but pathethically, it's me who got used to it. Yours Truly; Lorenzo
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